Trapped in Unreality
by I'm a Witch So Deal With It
Summary: Sarah Mayson. To some, that meant the crazy, sarcastic girl who loved to read. To others, it meant the bookworm, the outcast, not worth their precious time. But when she has a fall in her bedroom one day and slips into a coma, something... Unexplainable happens. Is it all true? She doesn't know. She's trapped. Trapped in Unreality. And she doesn't want to leave.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first HP fanfic, so go easy! Constructive criticism welcome, flames not welcome. Check the Author's Note at the bottom in regards to my little Hp one-shot if you're interested!**

**Disclaimer: Gaby no own Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. Gaby no J. K. Rowling. Gaby wants chocolate...**

"Sarah? Dude, you listening?" Jaz, my artsy, yet impatient best friend, asked while running her hand through her wild mane of flaming red hair. I looked at her gorgeous face, and bright blue eyes, waiting for her to elaborate a bit on what the heck she was talking about. She was the complete opposite of my black hair and green eyes. I wonder if she dies her hair...

Obviously, I had not, in any way, been listening. And she didn't elaborate.

"What?" I asked.

A pause.

"You seriously weren't listening? Do you even know what I'm talking about?" Obviously not, Jaz. I thought you were the smart... Wait, no I didn't.

"... Noooo..."

"Ugh! Put that book away! James likes you!"

"James likes Lily," I replied, automatically. I hadn't read the Harry Potter series twenty-three and a half times for nothing. Apparently, Jaz hadn't read it. At all.

"Who's Lily?" she asked totally cluelessly. Exhibit A. Ah, Jaz...

"James's wife." Duh.

"James's a Junior." Exhibit B. Jaz was looking at me with a weirded out expression on her face. She also looked kind of constipated... I told her to start bringing a lunch to school. Cafeteria food is horrid! Especially Marygold High School cafeteria food. Ugh. Damn budget cuts...

Well, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Sarah Mayson. No middle name, unless you count "Trouble." Just kidding. I'm the bookworm of the school. People just don't seem to understand that I actually enjoy reading for fun. And the sad thing is, I don't even fit in with the Nerds! Yep, that's right. You're looking at (not really... I hope) one of the school outcasts, doomed only to fit in with my fellow Unwanted ones. And just barely. Oh, and I'm a Soft-more, like Jaz.

"... never even listen to me!" Jaz finished. Wait, she was talking? I really need to work on my "Paying-attention-to-people-when-they-blah-blah-bl ah" skills. I stopped listening after "they".

I then congratulated myself on getting Jaz to shut up. Soon after I realized she was waiting for a response. Oopsies.

"Erm... Repeat?" I suggested rather meekly. Since when have I ever been meek?

"Ugh, Sarah, where does your overly large brain happen to go when you have a conversation?-"

"Neverland."

"-I can't seem to figure out how the same girl whose fricken novel got published in three different countries in her FRESHMAN YEAR-"

"Sheesh, puncture my eardrums, why don't you-"

"-could have such horrid conversational skills-"

"My conversation skills are completely adequate, I'll have you know-"

"QUIT INTERRUPTING, YODA!"

"..."

"..."

"... Did you just call me Yoda?"

"... Nooooooo..."

"... Well, this is awkward."

"No Shiite, Sherlock." Did I mention that Jaz can't swear to save her life? Because she can't.

Speaking of which, Jaz was snapping her very bony fingers right near my face, for no apparent reason, missing poking me in the eye by mere millimeters. Way to ruin my completely and totally awesome internal monologue. Rude. And, hello? Ever heard of this little thing called, "personal space"? I didn't think so.

"Get your dirty little fingers away from my beautifully perfect face. I don't know where they've been, or where you've put them..." It took her a while to understand that last part. And, oh boy, I knew when she did.

Jaz blushed redder than a tomato with a Miami sunburn. "QUE COCHINA ERES! BESAS A TU MADRE CON ESSA VOCA?!" she screamed at me. In Spanish. How does she even know Spanish? Roughly translated, that means: "HOW DISGUSTING ARE YOU?! DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH?!"

... Yes, Jaz, I kiss my DEAD mother with this mouth.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Sar-Bear, I forgot! How could I forget! I'm such a bad fr-"

I said that out loud? And don't call me Sar-Bear!

"Yes, Sarah, and that, too. Honestly, you never even pay attention when YOU talk-" _RING_!

Was that the bell? NOOO! I haven't eaten anything yet! On the other hand, no more Jaz Lectures...

Boo-yah, saved by the bell!

"SARAH!"

Did I say that out loud?

She facepalmed. "Yes, Sarah. You did."

Damn.

**A/N: I'M BACK! As promised, I shall talk about my little One-shot, "Sorry, Mum!", which you can define on my profile. *wink wink, nudge nudge* I want to know what you guys think: Should I make "Sorry, Mum!" into a series of One-shots, or leave it as is? Review!**


	2. Prologue to Chapter 2

**A/N: The next chappie is where the actual plot comes in. This is a prologue to what happens.**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

The next day started out normally enough. The problem is, it didn't end that way.  
Let me explain. I woke up, went to school with Jaz, fell asleep in home room, took a bunch of tests that I most likely failed, and went home. That, my friends, is where the fun comes in. I fell over my backpack, which I had stupidly assumed it would be nice and not trip me today, like I do every day, and it tripped me, like it does every day. Only this time, I didn't land on soft carpet, or catch myself like usual. No, I landed on my stereo, which somehow ended up on the ground. That was unusual. I fell in what seemed like slow motion, but was probably just my brain acting up again. Everything went black. I could hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing. I was... I just was. But I also wasn't. Does that make sense? No. Did I care? No. But I woke up. And I was never the same again.

**A/N: Again, not really a chapter. Just prologue. Kay? Okay.**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: WHOOT! THREE UPDATES IN ONE DAY! **

**Disclaimer: no.**

The fall was the last thing I remembered. I don't remember the landing, or how I got to this beautifully strange place. Maybe I landed in this place? Or maybe I-

"Excuse me, beautiful, but you're gorgeousness is lying on top of mine, so if you'll move your pretty little-"

"Finish that sentence, and I make it impossible for you to have children. Understand?" I'd had enough of him, whoever "him" was. I stood up and turned around to find a speechless SIRIUS FREAKING BLACK on he ground. What the heck was going on? I'll tell you what's going on. I had apparently been transported to an alternate dimension- the Wizarding dimension- where Sirius Black exists. Hmmm... I could have fun with this...

"Doll face-"

"Don't call me that!" Ewe.

"- is quite the feisty one, isn't she, Prongs?" Prongs? As in... James Potter?! HARRY FRICKIN POTTER'S DAD!

"Yes she is, Padfoot," said a voice from behind me. I spun around to see the same messy hair and round rimmed glasses I had seen so many times before on the covers of books, scarless with hazel eyes instead of green, looking at me with a curious expression on his face, and standing in front of the Fat Lady. Huh?

"What are you looking at?" Wow. Sarah Mayson: Fighting Rudeness with Rudeness since 197... Something.

James looked startled. Since it didn't seem like be was going to answer anytime soon, I spun around again and saw that Sirius was now standing up, about six inches taller than my 5'8" frame. He was staring down at me and I found it very irritating that I had to look up to see him, so I didn't. I turned around to talk to James, who could finally speak, it seemed. I told him the first thing that came to my head. That wasn't such a good idea.

"Could you control your dog's slobbering near me and both stand on the same side? The spinning around to speak to both of you is making me dizzy." Crap, I should not have said that...

At once, both of their demeanors changed. I felt rather than saw Sirius stiffen behind me as I was suddenly picked up and taken into the Gryffindor common room and up the boys' dormitory staircase. Nobody in the common room even attempted to stop James and Sirius as they dragged an innocent girl, kicking and screaming, up to their dorms. What the heck?! Does this happen normally?! Never mind, I don't want to know.

When James set me-non too gently, might I add- on what I guessed was his bed, I stared at them. They stared back.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared.

Finally, I had enough.

"You guys brought me up here because...?" They blinked. I win the staring contest! Whoot!

Unexpectedly, they burst out laughing. I blinked.

"What?" I asked, slightly irritated. Oh, wait...

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" James, who seemed to be composing himself, nodded. I blushed. "Well, damn." That hadn't seemed to change.

James and Sirius sat down on either side of me. James, all business now, asked, "Why did you call Sirius a dog earlier?" I played dumb. Well, I tried to.

"I, um... Didn't?" I said unconvincingly. I need to learn how to act. They both leaned closer to me, trying to be intimidating, succeeding in looking like creepers. You know why? Because someone chose that particular moment to come in. He was my life line.

I broke away from Sirius and James and tackle-hugged Remus John Lupin to the ground.

"REMUS! You're just in time to hear the story of how I know all your guys' secrets! And futures!"

I just had to say that, didn't I?

By the looks on all their faces, I decided that yes, I really did.

**REVIEW!**


	4. DUMBLEDORE SONG MAY BE OFFENSIVE SORRY

**A/N: LONGEST CHAPTER EVER! BYE BEFORE THE IPAD DIES!**

**disclaimer: ...no.**

As I led Remus, who looked utterly petrified, to the other two boys, I started thinking of Jaz. Why couldn't she have come? It wasn't fair. I only realized I was crying when a hand wiped the tears away.

"Don't cry, it not fun," James said, pulling his hand away. I pulled back.

"If I'd known I was crying I would've not. So, you guys want to lock the door, or shall I?"

"Why do you need to lock the door?" Sirius asked, amusedly. Pervert.

"Peter can't hear," I said simply and shrugged. The response was instantaneous.

All three stood up and said, "WHAT?!"

"I'll explain later, but he can't know! Trust me. Please? He. Can't. Know." To my relief, James and Sirius sighed and sat down. I turned to Remus with a raised eyebrow. "Remus?" He shook his head.

"Pete deserves to know his own future." He looked resolute, so I said the only thing that might convince him.

"Remus... Remus, he becomes a Death Eater in Seventh Year. What year are you in now?"

Everyone was dead silent after that little revelation. Finally, Remus sat down. I sighed.

"Where should I start, boys? Past, future, present, or secrets?" James was the first to speak.

"Do I end up with Lily?" he asked, eager, yet nervous.

"James... You just got told your friend is going to be a Death Eater in Seventh Year and you ask if you end up with a girl you like? I mean, you could at least ask the strange girl who fell from the sky her name before asking if your feelings for another girl are returned..." He hung his head for a moment, then looked up with a cheeky grin and said, "What's your name, Strange Girl Who Fell From the Sky and Sat on Sirius?" I blushed and glared at him while Sirius smirked at me in the background.

"Twat, my name is Sarah. Oh, and want to know something else? You-"  
But just when i was going to finish my totally awesome comeback (which may or may not include a couple of 'Yo Mamma' jokes and kicks about his "Nerd Glasses") , Dumbledore decided it'd be fun to break down the dormitory door.

"HOLY SHIT!" James, Sirius, and I exclaimed simultaneously. Remus held in his shock and managed to look embarrassed at our little outburst. Wow, Sarah, way to make a first impression, I thought to myself. Haha. Sarcasm.

"Young lady, do not say another word," Professor Dumbledore said, with the sternest expression I had ever seen (mentally, and by that actor dude that plays him in the Harry Potter movies, mind you) on his wrinkled old face. I did the only thing I could think of in a situation like this; I started singing.

Off key.

Hey, he said not to SAY anything. I'm just following orders.

"DUMBLEDORE IS GAY! DUMBLEDORE IS GAY! HE HAD A CRUSH ON GRINDLEWALD AND THEY PLAYED THE LOVE GAME! DUMBLEDORE IS GAY! DUMBLEDORE IS GAY! DON'T TAKE HIM TO A GIRLS' NIGHT OUT, HE'LL HOG ALL OF THE MEN! DUUUUM-BLE-DOOORE IS GAAAAAAAAY!"

Throughout the song, the three boys' jaws dropped, two of them (you guess who) started literally rolling on the floor laughing, the other one (again; guess) fainted from complete and utter shock, and Old Dumbles himself blushed a lovely shade of sunburned prune.

I smirked at him. "You never said anything about singing..."

He facepalmed. BOO-TO-THE-YAH, I MADE DUMBLEDORE FACE PALM! PWNED!

James and Sirius, who had finally stopped laughing, started up again, while Dumbledore stared at me with a completely amused expression. Crap, again...

"I should get my inability to think inside my own head checked out, shouldn't I?" The boys and Dumbles shook their heads.

"It is a very good source of amusement." Wow, thanks, Dumbledore. Means a lot...

"Erm... No disrespect, Sir, but wasn't there some sort of reason you came barging in here when I was going to reveal something very important concerning James's basically nonexistent love life?" Said loser made a faint noise of protest.

Dumbledore, all business now, gestured for me to follow him. I did so without protest and not making a peep at all.

Just kidding. Here's how it really went:

"Miss Mayson, follow me," Dumbledore said, piercing blue eyes fixed on me. As you know, I am a very reasonable person-snort- so I did what any reasonable person in my position would do; I screamed like my life was ending.

"NOOOOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME, SCARY OLD GUY! AND CUT YOUR HAIR! IT'S LONGER THAT MINE, AND MINE GOES DOWN TO MY BUTT! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT BEARD! GIVE ME IT! YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT BEARD! HE'S TOO GOOD FOR YOU!"

And so he picked me up and carried me out the door and down the stairs, me screaming obscenities all the way and earning many weird looks. I even managed to hear some First year say to her friend:

"Hey, Ivy, it's that crazy girl who he Marauders dragged up to their room. I wonder if she's not right in the head...?" I glared at her.

"You're parents don't love you." Pwned.

She shrugged. "Bitch."

I gasped loudly and yelled as I was carried out the portrait hole, "OFF WITH HER HEAD! HOW DARE THEE DISRESPECT THY ELDERS! SIMON SAYS NO!" on and on until Dumbledore took me inside of his office. I proceeded to scream, rather loudly, I must say, "RAPE! RAPE!" until he managed to Silencio me.

Ahh, good times. Although, now that I think about it, I was kind of surprised he hadn't thought of using magic before. Well, I can't really blame him. I tend to mess with people's common sense with my distractingly gorgeous face.

Cue Hair Flip of Sexiness.

Oh yeah.

"Miss Mayson-"

"Why so formal, Albus? Call me Sarah!"

Cue Creepy Eye-Twinkle of DOOM!

"Sarah, I do not believe you are from here?" Wow, Dumbles, you really get down to business...

Ignore unintentional innuendo above.

I realized he was waiting for a response. I decided to take this seriously.

"No, Sir, I'm from Uranus." Just kidding.

"..."

"I'm sorry, I had to. I'm a muggle," I said, then felt the need to add. "From the future."

"Mhm... How do you suppose you got here?" Yep, a girl who fell from the sky tells you she's a human from the future. Normal people: Dis bitch be cray-cray! Dumbledore: Seems legit.

I told him the truth. "The last thing I remember before coming here was falling and not landing."

"I understand. But I am going to have to ask you not to reveal anything you know about their futures while you are here. Do you understand?"

Cue Awkward Silence.

"Sarah?"

"Yeah... About that, Sir... I kind of already told them something... Rather important..."

A long silence with me fidgeting a bit in my seat.

Finally, he sighed.

"What have you told them, Miss Mayson?" Back to 'Miss Mayson', huh? Poo.

"Miss Mayson..." I said that out loud. Shit.

"ItoldthemthatPeterPettigrewbetraysthemtoVoldemort !"

Another long silence.

Then, "Sarah, you are dismissed. Tomorrow, you will be sorted during breakfast, but meanwhile you may stay with the Gryffindor girls."

"Sir, I don't have a uniform..."

"I believe a Miss Lily Evans may be of assistance. And why so formal, Sarah? Call me Albus."

I stood up, avoided the C. E. T. O. D. (Creepy Eye-Twinkle of DOOM!), and with a grin, left Dumbledore's office.

Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I have some secret passage ways to find, but first; the Kitchens.

**REVIEW! Love yous!**


	5. Happy Llama, Sad Llama (edited)

**A/N: IM EDITING THIS STORY! IM EDITING THIS STORY! And I'm back! I'm going to be editing the rest of this, and then I'm going to post new s chapters... Which I should probably start... Yeah! And im beating the system, by editing in the wrong order! SO READ, YOU SEXY PEOPLE, READ!**

**... AND REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: WHY DONT YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!**

After my little rendezvous with The Dumbles, instead of finding the fruit painting that led to deliciousness and midgets wearing towels, like I'd hoped, I was ambushed, not by James and Sirius this time, but by some old (young) Slytherin faces.

You guessed it; I had managed to get my sorry arse trapped in a half circle of Death Eater wannabes. Way to go, Sarah.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here...," the blond guy in the front-the original Malfoy, most likely- said to his little group of cronies. Way to say the most cliche villain thing known to man. But, hey! At least they're learning how to follow early on.

I looked at him oddly.

"... Was that supposed to sound menacing? If so, you should probably work on that..." Merlin, I did not just say that. I did not just say that to a bunch of future Death Eaters. No, I'm not that stupid...

They whipped out there wands and aimed them at me.

"What did you say, you little Mudblood?" Severus Snape, the unimportant piece of garbage behind Blondie, asked me with a sneer. Apparently, I really am that stupid.

"That's not what you think of Lily Evans, is it?" He turned red.

Seriously? Is that the best these idiots got?

"Too scared to repeat it, aren't you? Filthy Mudblood, good for nothing scum!" And apparently, I'm being ignored. By now I was reaching my boiling point, but I was rational enough to not let it show. See? I can be rational sometimes! Instead, I told them the first thing that came to my mind.

"Voldemort's a half blood." Why, brain, why?! I take back the earlier statement about rationality.

"You dare speak his name?!" ...Wow, Bellabitch never really changes, does she? Well... since its scripted...

"Yeah..." I said, feeling oddly amused. "Yeah, I have no problem saying Vol-"

"Shut your mouth!" Right on cue, Trixie. "You dare speak his name with your unworthy lips, besmirch it with your Mudblood tongue!"

...Close enough.

"As I said earlier, Old Voldy is a half blood, not much better than a muggle born." I smirked maliciously at her. Don't look at me like that, I'm mimicking her... I'm not normally this aggressive! ...Or am I? "Did he not tell you that, dear Trixie? Did he not trust his most loyal, best lieutenant with that little bit of information? Or are you not in that league?" She let out a shriek of rage. That's right. Come at me.

... Again, not normally this aggressive! Calm down.

"STUPIFY!" Dodged, easy.

"Come at me, Trixie! Is that all you've got?" Oh, if Jazz could see me now...

"PETRIFIC-"

"What, too much of a coward to fight me with your fists?" I interrupted her. Yeah! Not getting petrified! Score one: ME.

"STOP IT, BELLA!" Blondie shouted. Wow, Malfoy's got lungs. Bellabitch looked at him. "The Dark Lord will not be pleased if you're first kill is not approved."

...Say what?

"He does not need to know about this..." Trixie said, looking slightly uncertain. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... whoa. Sarah is confused.

"The Trail is still on us, Bella. He will know." ... This wasn't even in the books!

Bella snarled. "Fine, but as soon as I reach adulthood, I will give the honor of being my very first kill to her." Seriously, what the hell?

A thought flashed in my mind. I could leave! Why am I so stupid?

... Rhetorical question... Don't answer...

Next, little school children, I did what I do best; make an exit.

"SAYONARA, SUCKAS!" I said, and hightailed the hell out of there. Because fuck you, that's why.

So much for finding the kitchens...

I ran to where I saw the Fat Lady's portrait-what a rude name- and said "JAMES CHARLUS POTTER! SIRIUS ORION BLACK! LILY EVANS IS OUT HERE IN A BIKINI!" I yelled. I grimaced. They're not going to fall for that during winter...

They were out here in a matter of seconds. "WHERE?!" I burst out laughing. Apparently, they were.

"You wankers, it's the middle of winter! I just needed the password! I can't believe you fell for that!" By now they were glaring at me, and James was about to cross the threshold back into the common room. I grabbed his sleeve, quickly turning sober.

I gave him and Sirius my best 'sad and sorry' face. Time to turn on the cuteness.

... Shut up, it works.

"I'm sorry I tricked you, but Dumbledore sent me here to sleep,... a-and I don't know the password... Will you help me?" I asked sweetly with the biggest, non-crazy eyes I could muster.

James looked torn between being mad and hugging me, while Sirius looked amused. How is he not kneeling at my feet? How is he not wrapping his long-admittedly muscular-arms around me and trying to comfort me? HOW IS HE NOT GROVELING AT MY FEET?! This is an outrage! No one is immune to the Pity Me stare! No one!

Oh great, now they're laughing at me. I should just stop thinking... Yeah, I'll stop thinking, and then I'll stop saying what I'm thinking out loud because I won't be thinking anything! I AM THE MASTER!

... AND THEY'RE STILL LAUGHING!

... Still laughing...

... This is getting boring...

... We will, we will rock you...

... We should have been fighting, for what we had, what we were, what we could have been last night...

... Wee-whoo... Wee-whoo-ooo...

... Ducks can quack, quack, quack...

...

"Oh, screw it." I walked inside...

... And right into little miss bikini wearing redhead. You know why? Because fuck my life. That's why.

"Hi, I'm Lily Evans, Dumbledore sent me an owl. I havent seen you around. You must be Sarah Mayson, yes?" Wow, she's polite. Time to make a fool of myself!

"Why so formal? And yes, I am Sarah Mayson, tormenter of James Potter and Sirius Blockhead- I mean Black." To my surprise, she laughed. Oh yeah, score one for the home girl!

... Great, now she's looking at me funny...

"I'm getting sorted tomorrow! I need some sleep, that's why I'm being so weird." Nice save, Sarah!

She smiled. "Oh, I can understand that!" ... Well, thanks.

"And I was also ambushed by a bunch of Death Eater wannabes." Dammit, mouth! Why?

"No! Who?" Her smile had gone now. May as well tell her. Fudging demon mouth... Betraying my brain...

"Lucius Malfoy, Bellabitch- I mean Bellatrix Black, Severus Snape, and some other people."

"Severus Snape? You must have the wrong person, he'd never do something like that." She seemed pretty confident in that. Sorry, Lily, time to ruin a long time friendship early... fun. I started crying slightly. That was not supposed to happen...

"He... He called me a filthy m-Mudblood twice, a g-good for n-n-nothing..." I literally couldn't continue. I was crying so hard, and I didn't think his words would have affected me that much, or at all. I'm not even a witch, so why am I here crying about the truth? God, my brain must really be messed up...

Before I knew it, I was being led onto the couch by a crying Lily, and we wrapped out arms around each other as we sobbed for completely different reasons, revolving around the same person.

... I'm fudging depressing...  
~-~-~-~-~Next Day-~-~-~-~-

I was woken up by someone shaking me.

"Sarah... Sarah, get up, you have to get sorted!" I jumped up, bonking heads with a maine of fiery red hair. I gagged.

"Lily, I'm choking on hair that isn't even mine right now. Personal space?" I said, though it came out kind of muffled. I'm not even going to tell, you what it sounded like...

"Sorry..." she giggled, pulling back. She quickly turned serious. "I was thinking of something, Sarah," she said. Oh, no, last time I heard those words, my ex-boyfriend dumped me for my male cousin...

Shut up... It was traumatizing...

I looked at her curiously. "What?"

Her eyes started to water, but she held the tears back. We'd cried enough for two lifetimes last night. Actually, more like three... "I need to stop being friends with Severus if this is what he does to people. It isn't the first time someone told me this happened, I just didn't want to believe it." A tear slipped passed her eyelashes. I hugged her.

Now, remember, kids. I don't hug. She better feel damn lucky...

"We've been crying far too much lately..." She said, sniffling.

"Yep. Now, lets go to breakfast and dump that Slytherin!" I grinned, wondering why the hell she decided to trust me when she's only known me for a day... night. Wait... what if I'm... no, i cant be... this isn't a fan fiction, so its not possible... right?

She gave me a watery smile.

"Let's?" I gave a tight smile, the thought still plaguing my mind.

"I have a bone to pick with him," i said, then perked up. "Plus, I need to get sorted!"

"Please be in Gryffindor!" D'aww! I'm flattered.

I smirked. "Is someone going to miss me?"

She blushed. "No, duh! You're my friend... aren't you?" She looked uncertain. Oh, god, here comes the thought again... I pushed it back, looping my arm with hers. "Friends." Second only to Jaz. I wonder how she is...

After getting dressed, Lily and I went downstairs and met up with the Marauders, who she had decided to give a chance, a bit as a hit to Snape, a bit just because she might have misjudged them like she did to Snivels.

We went into the Great Hall, and all eyes were on us. Firstly because Lily Evans was willingly hanging out with James Potter, and secondly because no one except the Gryffindors knew who I was... And that's just because I was screaming on Dumbledore's shoulders... We walked to the Slytherin table. The boys started to follow us, but Lily and i told them to go ahead.

"We need to do something... Important." After a bit, they left to the Gryffindor table.

Lily and I walked over to Snape's seat, his beetle-black eyes widening when he saw who she was with. "Hello, Severus," we said simultaneously, our voices echoing in the now silent hall. Whoa. Creepy. And totally nun planned...

No, seriously!

He got to the point.

"Lily, what are you doing with... Her?" Um... Right here... "And walking in with the Marauders? You hate them."

Lily and I looked at each other. We had rehearsed this during the time it took us to get ready, admittedly not much, and we rolled our eyes together and turned back to him.

"No, Severus," she began, pausing for dramatic affect. "You hate them. You hate her. You hate us, so that can only add up to We. Hate. You." He paled, and turned to me.

"You... you told her," he said quietly. I tilted my head to the sideno knowing full well what he meant.

"Told her what?"

He snarled. "You told her what I called you, you disgusting little MUDBLOOD!"

The teachers were getting up now, so I only had a limited amount of time to give him the grand finale. I smirked. "Yes, Severus, I did... But she couldn't really believe me until you confirmed it. In other words, as a tribute to us muggleborns... You just nailed down the lid of your own coffin." And with that, Lily and I walked over to the Gryffindor table, to applause all around.  
Now, I just have to get sorted...

Dumbledore got up from his seat, the applause dying down immediately. He smiled calmly.

"Now that that little show is over, which I will need to speak to the three of you about-" Fudge sticks. "-I ask all of your attention for a late sorting of Miss Sarah Mayson, whom you all now know from that little performance." Everyone looked at me so I felt the need to stand up and awkwardly say... Wait for it... "Yo." I said yo. Why? I'M NOT EVEN A BLOODY AMERICAN!

... Anywhoses, I got up, went over to the Dumbles, and bowed to more clapping.

"So... You going to put that hat on my head or not?" Everyone laughed. Oh yeah, still got it.

He placed the Sorting Hat on my head, and I immediately started thinking the Llama song really loudly. Here's how it went;

Me: Happy llama, sad llama...  
S.H.: You have a very... interesting mind.  
Me: Mentally disturbed llama...  
S.H.: I see you are from a very strange future? You know things that no one else does.  
Me: Super llama, Drama llama...  
S.H.: WILL YOU SHUT UP?  
Me: Big, fat momma llama...  
S.H.: YOU'RE IN FREAKING GRYFFINDOR!  
Me: Camel; I like toast.  
S.H.: Someone get this moron away from me...

Oh yeah... Talking hats dig me.

... Shut up.


End file.
